The Death of Happiness
by Kyrene once Blood Roses
Summary: Somewhere inside, the boy knew that the man understood. Somewhere…But not on the surface…Never on the surface…Never the surface.' A conversation between Yahiko and Enishi.


A/N: I believe that Enishi and Yahiko were meant to have much in common. The hints are everywhere in the show and the manga if you ask me. They even have a very big resemblance to each other. So this is pretty much about that line of thought.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yahiko, Enishi, or any of the other characters in this story.

_How did it feel, kid? How did it feel to see your sister dead?_

Yukishiro Enishi escaped from the police.

That bastard, who took away the only solid thing in his life…leaving him depressed and angry and empty and **so god damn pissed off that he wanted to rip the bastard's heart out!**

The man who just gave everything back so that everyone could build their lives all over again so that the happiness could return, but it would never return. There would always be the memories and the sadness and the anger and the chaos underneath the thin layer of happiness…She would never be happy.

Myoujin Yahiko would never be happy…Not truly happy…Not if she wasn't.

The boy shook his head, trying to shake himself from the thoughts. She was alive and she was as bright as ever. He was imagining everything. Her eyes were just as blue as ever…Not the blue-grey that he seemed to see…

And Kenshin…

_She wouldn't move, wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep. _

_All she did was lay in bed and mourn. Mourn for the loss of the only man she'd ever loved. _

_He was gone now, returning to the life of a rurouni. _

_Leaving her…without even a second glance…Leaving her alone…All alone…_

_For the child who stood over her, pleading for her to eat, to get up, to live again…The child who tried to protect her from the sadness that filled her soul, who tried to fill the empty spot deep inside her heart…_

_He could never bring her love back._

_And so his voice would never reach her._

Pain pierced his hand and when he looked he saw that they were clenched and bleeding.

He cursed to himself and began his decent to the river. He needed to stop. He needed to join the façade, to put on the same mask. To pretend that everything would be okay…

He needed to stop seeing her like that…The blood and the lifeless grey eyes…

None of it was real; it was all fake, completely fake. It was a doll, a lifeless being, completely fake…Fake…Like the life that they would return to…completely fake.

Kneeling in front of the river he dipped his bleeding hands into the water, barely even noticing the pain…Pretend it isn't there. Pretend not to feel the pain. Pretend that you never saw it.

"Just pretend that you never felt it."

Yahiko barely even noticed he had spoken aloud.

But someone else did.

"Such anger from someone who just had their life returned to them."

The man sat at the base of a tree, not to far from where the boy sat himself.

The black haired boy should've been scared. He should've been frozen to the spot, shaking with fear…But it wasn't fear that chilled his blood until it ran cold…

The icy cold feeling of hate filled Yahiko's heart…Not for the first time since she was taken away from him.

Enishi wasn't sure why the boy didn't shock him. He was young, maybe 10, 11 years old. But he looked at him with eyes that had aged far more years. The boy with the spiky black hair and the angry glare and the fierce need to protect…To protect her.

_She wouldn't move, wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep. _

_All she did was lay in bed and mourn. Mourn for the loss of the only man she'd ever loved. _

_He was gone now, killed in the war by the infamous shadow assassin. _

_Leaving with her guilt…Leaving her alone…All alone._

_For the child who stood over her, pleading for her to eat, to get up, to live again…The child who tried to protect her from the sadness that filled her soul, who tried to fill the empty spot deep inside her heart…_

_He could never bring her love back._

_And so his voice would never reach her._

Understanding…That's why the child didn't shock him. Because the child understood.

"**You**…"

Enishi's head tilted in curiosity, wondering what the boy could possibly want to say to him. So many words, so many profanities…So many things he could be thinking. But that wasn't what hate was about.

"**If I could I would**…" Yahiko faltered, stopping in his tracks. If he could he would what? Kill the man? Right then and there? In cold blood?

"I know."

Understanding…Somewhere inside, the boy knew that the man understood. Somewhere…But not on the surface…Never on the surface…Never the surface.

Silence. Nothing was said as they watched each other. Nothing as the man watched with knowing eyes and the boy watched with angry and confused and hateful eyes, eyes that were full of denial.

Never on the surface…Never would understanding show on the surface…Never.

The thought comforted the boy……and it angered the man.

"Why are you angry?"

_He had searched for her for months. _

_Working with the people who would help her find happiness. He would find her happiness._

_All that had filled his thoughts, ever day; every night…Was her happiness._

_And finally here she was, staying with the very man who had stolen her happiness…Just like in the plan…_

_Yet………_

_There was something different. Deep inside her eyes. Something that he didn't wish to say. Something that angered him to the point of madness…_

_Especially when she told him to leave. _

_It was as if she was telling him that he wasn't, and never would be good enough. That there would always be someone to stand in the way, that he could never even share a place in her heart. _

_That this man…That this "Battousai", the very man who stole her happiness from her…Was more important than her own brother. _

_Love was a selfish thing…_

_His love was no different._

The question was abrupt and the voice was harsh and startled Yahiko out of his thoughts. It took him a moment to roll the question around in his head before comprehending what it meant…Wait a minute…Why was he angry? _Why was he angry!_

"You piece of shit! What the fuck do you mean why am I angry! You bastard, I hate you! **I hate you! _I hate you! You killed my sis_**…………"

_Once upon a time there was a little boy whose sister was killed by a hitokiri._

Yahiko's eyes widened, he hadn't actually been there for the fight. His wounds still healing…But he had heard…Somehow…He had heard. The anger of the man, the sadness of his loss all shown through each fight he had with Kenshin…Each because he had lost his sister…_You killed my sister!_

His hands clenched as it dawned on him that he was about to utter such a familiar sentence…Quickly he tried to correct himself. "You…You put everyone's lives in danger."

"But **she's** the only one who counts, isn't she?"

The boy's eyes narrowed at the knowing look in the man's eyes. "Don't talk to me like you know me…You don't know anything."

_In a way, he had been searching for her since his mother died. _

_She cared for him the second they had met, even though neither would admit it. _

_The day that she took him in was the day he vowed to protect her happiness._

_Yet……_

_As he continued to live there, he became aware that her happiness would never be his to protect. _

_And as he stood there, watching Kaoru leave to find Kenshin (probably walking into danger, for Jin-e seemed like everything that was dangerous) the words that she had spoken kept rolling around in his head._

"_**I'd rather be in danger…Than be ALONE again!"**_

…_Alone… _

_It was as if she was telling him that he wasn't, and never would be good enough. That there would always be someone to stand in the way, that he could never even share a place in her heart. _

_Without Kenshin she would be alone. _

_He barely heard what Sano was saying, barely cared. Something about love being selfish. _

"_Huh. 'Alone again', she says. So what does that make you?"_

_The boy shrugged as if it didn't bother him. "Whatever. Can't expect to compare well to Kenshin……Japan's #1 guy."_

_And he knew that he never wouldcompare. That Kenshin could and probably would steal her happiness many a time and than he'll bring her happiness back to her…And he would be the one protecting it. _

_But somewhere in his mind Sano's words stuck in his mind, that love was selfish. For he knew that he was. Because if he could he knew that no matter how much of a friend Kenshin was to him, Yahiko would steal her away from the "hero" the second he had a chance. _

_Love was a selfish thing…_

_His love was no different._

Enishi stood, towering over Yahiko…But the boy didn't back down. The man doubted he ever would. "Heh, tell me, did you see the doll of your Kaoru?" Enishi didn't wait for the answer, he didn't need one. The mixed emotions that showed on the spiky haired child gave him enough of an answer. "How did it feel, kid? How did it feel to see your sister dead?"

Millions of images flew through Yahiko's brain, thinking of various ways that he could completely snuff the life out of the spiky haired man standing before him. Anything and everything flooded in, the death and gore moving away any thoughts of love and loss.

Those emotions would not return. He would not see the sword piercing her heart…Her heart which was so beautiful and so filled with love…

_She's alive she's alive she's alive she's alive_

"**SHE'S ALIVE! She's not dead! She was never dead! That wasn't her, **it wasn't her………" For some reason…His knees buckled at that moment and he collapsed to the floor. He sucked in his breath, trying to calm down. Trying to believe his own words. "I never saw it…Never felt it."

_The blade ripped through the air, cutting through solid mass. The swing so quick, the blood sprayed into the air. _

_The smell of blood was thick on the air; red clouded his vision…Until it was too late. _

_And so he watched as she fell to the ground, falling into her killer's arms. _

_And so he watched as his whole life, his whole reason for living was ripped from his grasp. _

_The hate didn't seep into his blood, flowing through his veins, filling his brain until a little later. When it dawned on him how alone he truly was. _

_And as he walked through the snow, tired and cold and hungry…He knew what he had to do. He'd known somewhere inside his head the second the blade pierced her skin. _

_Battousai would suffer._

_Enishi would protect his sister's happiness._

Faintly he knew that the asshole that ruined his life was kneeling in front of him. He could even tell how far his arm would have to reach to firmly hold onto the man's neck. But…He knew that the man was getting ready to say something, and the boy wanted to hear it.

"That's the true difference between us, you know."

Yahiko glanced up…And blinked at the emotions that were pooling in the man's eyes. The anger wasn't a shock at all…The envy on the other hand, that was completely unexpected………And yet it wasn't at all.

"What do you mean?" There was no reason to ask, he already knew the answer.

"I am what you could have become. I am what would've happened if Kamiya Kaoru had truly been killed. My life would've been your future." He paused, allowing the boy to absorb his words. After a minute or so he smirked, "And so, Yahiko, I know _everything_ about you."

He was wrong. The man was insane, and he didn't have any idea what he was talking about. Yahiko would never…he wouldn't…he couldn't…

_He could even tell how far his arm would have to reach to hold firmly onto the man's neck._

Could he? Could he have become the monster that is Yukishiro Enishi? Could he have lived a life that revolved around nothing but his hate and need for revenge?

_He collapsed to the ground in front of the body which was currently slumped against the wall. His eyes didn't move, enchanted by the blood which dripped to the ground, splattering and staining the floor. _

_He knew the stain would always remain, no matter how hard he'd try to scrub, no matter how hard he closed his eyes…It would never leave from his brain. _

_The hate didn't seep into his blood, flowing through his veins, filling his brain until a little later. When it dawned on him how alone he truly was. _

_And as he sat scrubbing the forever stained floor with his body, his heart, his very soul, aching with such a searing pain that he almost couldn't breath…He knew what he had to do. _

_Yukishiro Enishi would suffer. _

_Yahiko would protect Kaoru's happiness………_

………_But………_

"You're wrong."

Yahiko's eyes flew open, as the answers to all his questions were quickly answered. He stood, a new sense of clarity spreading over him. He stood tall, as tall as he could and waited for Enishi to stand.

The man raised an eyebrow, and the boy knew that the man thought that he was just denying the inevitable.

"You were never my future. Because I promised to protect Kaoru's happiness."

Enishi laughed, it was a bittersweet sound. "Exactly, and she hated me as much as I thought my sister hated Battousai. She would've wanted her revenge. So don't try to"

"You're wrong." Yahiko's voice was firm and…Somewhat amused. "No matter how miserable you made her life, no matter how cruelly you killed her" the words were bit out between clenched teeth, "She would never wish death upon you. I know Kaoru, and I know what would have truly allowed her soul to rest."

The man watched the boy with suspicion and curiosity. The boy definitely thought highly about his teacher…He spoke as if she was a saint…Enishi didn't doubt that in the child's mind she _was_ a saint. "And what would that be?"

"She would want me to protect. To try as hard as I could to use my sword, to use Kamiya Kasshin Ryu as a tool to protect our family, our friends. She would want me to live my life without being consumed by hatred." He nodded, as if he were hearing the words for the first time and deciding how right they were. He looked at Enishi with knowing eyes, "**No one** would wish that upon a loved one."

"There is a huge difference between us Enishi, my eyes were never clouded. Kaoru's happiness was, and will always be my first priority."

The boy didn't know what became of the man as he turned and walked away. He didn't bother to hear a response or watch the expression on the man's face.

Yahiko had said his fill, he had found his answers.

It didn't matter where Kenshin was, it didn't matter if only he could give or take her happiness.

Yahiko would always be there, he would never give up.

Whether Kaoru knew it or not, she would never be alone.

_The woman walked home, husbandless once again. He had yet to return, and although she worried endlessly…She was becoming used to being alone._

_Kenshin never truly gave up his rurouni persona, his need for atonement always there. And now Kenji, her only son, left her too. Running away from home, off to learn his father's strength. _

_Kaoru supposed that she would always be alone…And yet…It didn't bother her so much. _

_The boy was now a man, stronger and yet still persistent. He watched the woman he secretly called sister. He never left her, even though he had many chances. _

_He would always remain, for as long as she needed him. Which, in his mind, it meant he'd never need to leave her. _

_Love was a selfish thing, and Yahiko would see her pain in the way he saw fit. He would always try to protect her happiness; always try to find a place where he could exist inside her heart._

_And unbeknownst to him, she saw him as the only truly solid being in her life. _

_The only person who **could** protect her happiness._

A/N: That ended up being more corny that I wanted it too. But I hoped I had enough examples of why I thought Enishi and Yahiko were so alike. I should really write a complete story about that…I love Yahiko so it wouldn't be too hard. He's mucho yummy when he gets older .

And for everyone's information, I honestly don't like Tomoe or Kaoru when it comes to their younger "brothers", they completely took them for granted and that ticked me off. I remember watching the OVA (OAV…whatever) and when they show little Enishi like "sister, please answer me" or something like that I was like…Bitch! I don't care how sad you are, when you have a kid depending on you so much you suck it up. And Kaoru never does answer to Yahiko when she's freaking out cause Kenshin left…I mean, man, he's just a kid and she's the only one he has. Suck it up!

Alright, I'm done…That's my story, I hope you enjoyed. I tried to be a bit symbolic if you noticed…Review!


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